Do You Know Yourself?

Self-knowledge comes from various sources, such as our own experience of ourselves, other people’s experiences of us, and the consequences of how we relate to the world (Higgins, 1996). Because we are not always aware of our behaviors and are often inclined to ignore information about ourselves that runs counter to the self-image we believe. It is, therefore, important to seek evidence from external sources (Wilson & Dunn, 2004).

Self-knowledge is key to living an authentic and purposeful life. After all, how can you truly be yourself if you don’t know who that is?

Cultivating self-knowledge helps us understand who we are and how to live our best lives. When you attain a comprehensive and accurate representation of your true self, you make better decisions that serve your goals and desires and avoid experiences that diminish your ability to flourish. For example, self-awareness facilitates selecting compatible friends or intimate partners, choosing education or career opportunities that fit your preferences and abilities, and identifying the optimal place to live (Morin & Racy, 2021).

In addition to building a rich, meaningful life, self-knowledge provides many other benefits. These benefits include:

Self-knowledge necessarily arises from both internal and external sources. That is, we gain self-knowledge through reflection, introspection, and feedback from others. Reflection and introspection can help us learn about many aspects of ourselves, but it is a limited method of gaining awareness for several reasons including willful suppression, unconscious repression, and inaccessibility of information (Wilson & Dunn, 2004). Let’s take a closer look at each of these.

One common reason for the lack of accurate knowledge about relevant aspects of ourselves is not wanting to accept that information. In other words, we are often motivated to keep some thoughts out of our minds because they are unpleasant, anxiety-inducing, or contrary to our self-image.

Repression is similar to suppression but does not include a deliberate, conscious effort to suppress certain thoughts. Rather, repression is commonly an unconscious defense mechanism whereby grievous, often traumatic, information is blocked from consciousness. Even when successfully blocked from consciousness, these painful thoughts still linger in the mind and can influence our behaviors and emotions.

Our brains process an enormous amount of information at all times and only a limited amount of this information makes it into conscious awareness. For example, right now the presence of clothing is activating touch receptors in your skin, which are sending messages to your brain indicating that you have clothes on. However, to save on conscious processing power, this information is typically tuned out by the brain because it isn’t useful. Just imagine how frustrating constant conscious awareness of the feeling of your shirt on your back would be.

Developing self-knowledge may not be as simple or as effortless as we hope. But, there are a few strategies that can help us build self-knowledge.

Tracking behavior and habits

Tracking our habits and behaviors, as we progress toward our goals, can help us view our behaviors objectively. This is useful for identifying whether our beliefs about our behaviors align with what we do. Additionally, because behaviors can be driven by nonconscious processes that are not immediately accessible to conscious awareness, it is useful to track our behaviors to identify patterns we might want to change.

Journaling

Writing out your thoughts and feelings is a great way to improve self-awareness. Daily journaling is one of the best ways to help you organize your thoughts. It helps you to engage in self-analysis, giving you a greater understanding of your motivations. Journaling can also help you identify recurring patterns of behavior that may or may not be aligned with your goals and values.

Ask for feedback

As mentioned previously, objective sources of information are critical for the growth of self-knowledge. We gain greater insight into what we are like when we engage with others by asking trusted friends and mentors for their perspectives on our personalities and other personal characteristics.

Self-knowledge is not quite as easy to come by as we might expect. Developing self-awareness requires an intentional drive for knowledge and a willingness to accept our flaws, which is worth the effort. With greater self-knowledge comes greater satisfaction with our lives.